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"In the Year 2000, the UN will create a prank treaty that will combine all the countries the world into one. After the first two countries, Canada and Peru, sign it, the other nations will point and laugh saying 'Enjoy your new country Canapu!'"
Late Night with Conan O'Brien

"Under Stalin, Moscow's subway was an example to the rest of the world. It was efficient, cheap and clean. If anything broke down the person responsible would be shot as a warning to others."
BBC Caller

"I haven't worn any fezi in my life."
"The plural of fez isn't fezi!"
"Then what is it... feces?"
Jonathon and Me

"Who are those horrid creatures?"
"Those are the Grunkalunkas."
"Well tell them I hate them!"
Futurama

"I can't believe that Jerry Springer couldn't solve our problem."
"And now he's dead."
Simpsons

"'Europe' will never be a military superpower. Most European nations spend less than 2% of their GDP on defence, and that number is shrinking. The United States is twenty or more years ahead of Europe in military research. The armies of Europe are incapable of even defending themselves. If the EU had tried to intervene in Kosovo without U.S. help, the war would have ended with Serbian troops marching through Paris."
BBC Caller

"Cheney Cloned ... President Has Nothing To Do At All Now."
President Bush reciting a list of headlines he said he would like to see in the future.

"In Italy for 30 years under the Borgias they had warfare, terror, murder, and bloodshed, but they produced Michelangelo, Leonardo da Vinci, and the Renaissance. In Switzerland they had brotherly love - they had 500 years of democracy and peace, and what did that produce? The cuckoo clock."
Orson Wells

:In The Year 2000 Quotes:

Tired of being labeled as drunks by people of other ethnic groups, Irish people will get together, get drunk, and beat up other ethnic groups.

Animals will take over the farm just like in the novel Animal Farm, but instead of setting up a failed communist regime, they will simply go poop in the house.

Although he loses the election, Al Gore remains in the White House when George W. Bush decides to use him as the desk in the Oval Office.

After Hillary looses her senate race, the Clintons sell their suburban New York home. The ad reads: five bedrooms, four bathrooms and one secret tunnel to Hooters.

In one of the most negative, ruthless presidential campaigns ever, candidates will run ads accusing their opponents of coming up with the idea for Jar-Jar Binks.

To compete with Chinese restaurants, Taco Bell will offer it's own version of the fortune cookie, called the 'fortune tostada.' The most common fortune found in the tostada, 'Tonight you will have crippling diarrhea.'

Computers will be convinced that it is the year is 1900. They will support President McKinley, grow handlebar mustaches, and crack the heads of the filthy Irish.

In an effort to disprove ethnic stereotypes, 20 polish people will get together to change a light bulb. It will not take 1 to hold the bulb and 19 to turn the ladder, but 19 to hold the bulb and 1 to turn the ladder.